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The City That Never Sleeps
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posted : Tuesday, January 14, 2014
title :
i think i am meant to get myself to do my work. But no, i am emotionally not in that i-will-do-my-work state. Why? Cause i have to deal with that family stuff i hate to deal. WOW. LIKE WHY TORTURE ME TO HEAR ALL THIS SHIET AFTER 3 YEARS AGAIN. YES THIS IS NICE.THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO BE AT. But NO. I dont want to be responsible to take away someone's right or decisions.
Maybe theres a more correct word to describe this kind of situation. Pressure? Conformity? Verbal abuse? Just doing what we are meant to do cause we are children that should listen to everything. I dont know how P is feeling, but no.
This feeling is just sinking down in me. I cannot imagine anyone going through that all over again. Just thinking about all of this, makes me feel like crying. But no, why, cause its not worth it anymore.
According to D, I am so weak emotionally. Thanks. Like, yea well i am.
But you and M just made me feel like the child that is not intelligent and i used three years to prove it wrong. But it doesnt matter, cause no one will think this matter anyways.
I havent shed a tear about this since the first day I came, but sigh.
Like what P said, the family runs on material happiness. So, I'm not banking on anything worthy.
If i ever have a family of my own in future, i think theres so much i would do to give my kids what they want to make them real happy kids.
And while I'm going to sound like a crazy ungrateful kid, I'm not cheering with pom-poms to the coming day.
TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK AND BLAST DEM MUSIC.
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the name's Learning. 
