I just realised that i have nowhere else that i can say things that i want to say. I guess, that's the power of social media. There are people that indirectly scrutinises what is said or what is done;  some of them could just be curious about what is happening, while some people are genuinely concerned.  It unconsciously removes the freedom of speech and here comes someone like me, needing a channel to verbalise my thoughts.

These few days has been a roller coaster ride to me. The number of ups and downs, is not thrilling at all, but more like a constant struggle for me to get past each day. Then again, I think clearing my head by keeping myself busy made me feel a lot better too.

" Forgiving others is easy, but trusting them again that's hard"
This lingered on my mind for a very long time. :(

To the boy that i met one year and a bit more ago,
To the boy whom i first danced with,
To the boy who humoured me by telling me the lamest jokes,
To the boy who stayed up and had late night talks with,
To the boy who gets concerned when i face into problems
To the boy who is willing to be a listening ear
To the boy who teaches me important things in life, so i don't lose out in my lack of social intelligence
To the boy who showed me how to take life easier, and be chilled,

To the boy who first accompanied me to a ball,
To the boy who first gave me a corsage,
To the boy who is weaker than me at alcohol, but acts really cute and crazy after drinking,
To the boy who thinks that he's shy, but actually make a really good friend,
To the boy who asks me out for movies and hang out,
To the boy who is awkward at times,  yet he's fun to be with friends too
To the boy who tried to teach me how to ice skate, while laughing at me most of the time,


To the boy who brought me lots of happiness with things we do or things he said,
To the boy who says mean things to me, just to see me get teased
To the boy who gave me so much mixed feelings,
Thank you, and sorry

Thank you for everything, for being here all along and being such a pillar of fun, and support.
Sorry, for not say things i should have said earlier

" The fear of disappointment causes you to push people away, keeping them from getting too close"

Mmhm.  I don't know why I'm out anyways.  Part of me feels bad for always ditching.  But then I hate to stay and get restricted. 

Heh.  And I really want go to the beach before uni starts mmm ^_^

I don't want to care. Like how he does it.
But can I? How can I?
I don't even want to see updates from you anymore.

Today, 4.05am.
I don't want to care who you want to die for. He could be that person you want to die for in life. So be it.
You just made me realized, how much effort I just to keep the relationship going and you made me realize my importance to you.

Thanks. Thanks for making me know after 4 years, that I'm actually "that" important to you.

I don't want to care about who your heart beats for. It's because your heart changes , again and again.

Every action of yours make me feel you just treat people around you like disposables. Or just playtime toys,

Seriously not friends should be like.